Even though track season doesn't start until the spring, training is a year-round endeavor. Bridget is obsessed with her parties and frat boys and some might say I'm obsessed with staying in shape. Now of course, school work comes first, but I am here on both academic and athletic scholarships, so I can't let my physical fitness slide. It's really nice that they have a gym right here on campus, just a minute's walk away from my dorm room. I go there every morning to work out. Most people prefer to sleep in on a Saturday, but me, I like to wake up as the sun is rising, watch it peak its way over the horizon with its brilliant reds and oranges and purples and then walk to the gym in the crisp morning air where I run on the treadmill for about 45 minutes and then go get breakfast. I need to give my body time to cool down before I step out into that crisp morning air again, so hitting the showers and enjoying some eggs and toast is a great way to do that. I've tried to get Bridget to join me for the breakfast part before, but more Saturdays than not, she's hung over from the night before. I worry about her and what she's doing to her liver, but I've voiced my concerns and they've been promptly ignored with a "Live a little!" to which I respond, "I'm trying to live a lot." She just rolls her eyes to show her disdain and rolls away from me in her bed.
Maybe it's better this way anyway. Morning is my time, my time to reflect and to focus on me. In the couple months that I've been here, I've already discovered how much more there is to this life than I realized. I really did live a sheltered life before. I've met people from other countries, with cultures I never knew existed. I've met people interested in literature, like me, and people interested in science and nature and people who can speak multiple other languages. I'm picking up a little sign language myself from the sign language club, but I wonder if I really wanted to learn sign language if maybe I should have just taken an actual sign language course. Jamie told me they offer one here. Oh well, maybe next year. Waiting a year to take a just for fun course won't hurt anything. I've got lots of time to keep trying new things. But I need to remember I don't have unlimited time. If I want to try something new, now is the time to do it. Like learning to play the piano. I think that might be fun.
My mother knew how to play. My father didn't tell me that until I was already in high school or else maybe I would have taken lessons as a child. He said he wanted me to be my own person, which was a little surprising since he seemed to treasure all my other similarities to my mother. Maybe playing the piano was special somehow. We never had a piano in the house while I was growing up as far back as I remember. Maybe he got rid of it when I was born. Maybe music was a part of my mother he didn't want to live on in me. I can't really say. If he does want me to be my own person, though, then it should be up to me and me alone if I want to learn to play or not. And I think that I do.
Well at any rate, as much as I love all these opportunities to try new things, I still need to remember the main reasons I'm here, the reasons this college is paying me to be here: to learn and to run track. So I have to stay in shape. I have to run on this treadmill for 45 minutes every day, or do something to get exercise. And I have to study hard and get good grades. I know my dad will be proud of me, but he'd be proud of me no matter what, so the more significant goal is to proud of myself.
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This Bridget chick is way more annoying than Lizzy ever was. At least Lizzy was respectful and nice to me. This girl is just rude. Congrats, Zach. You got your sorority girl, just barely. When are you going to wake up and realize that she's not worth it?
Okay, so maybe I'm being a little harsh. It's not like Bridget is evil or anything. Like Zach, she wants to have fun. But it seems to me like that's all she wants to do. Zach was an easy-going light-hearted guy, but he could be serious, too. He knew his studies were important and he wanted to succeed. Lizzy never got in the way of that. Bridget sure does. All she wants to do is party. I never see her go to class. I'm not even sure she's really a student here, except that she really is in a sorority so I guess she must be a student somehow, at least until she flunks out of everything. Unless she's one of those people who can just skim by in a class and get a B even without studying. I know I'm not like that, but there are some people who are.
Anyway, I don't think she's all that good for Zach, and I've told him so, but he doesn't want to listen to me so what else can I do? I can't force him to dump her. I just have to let him figure it out on his own. I feel... I feel almost like a father. That's creepy. It always seemed like my dad never did much for me, but maybe he was doing more than I realized.
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I miss Lizzy. I didn't think she was the girl for me, but maybe I was wrong. This Bridget chick is fun at a party, but it seems like with her the party never stops. I try to get her to go to class, but she doesn't seem all that interested. She shows up to tests, at least, and regularly gets C's in them. I liked the theory of dating a sorority girl, but in practice it's no so great. Even Brady has tried to get me to dump her. Brady usually just lets me be. I don't know why I can't do it. It's like some crazy bizarre chick magnet force that is keeping me linked to her. Like she's magic or something. Maybe it's chemistry. I don't know.
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Sometimes you have to go through a series of really horrible relationships to finally find the one that sticks. All through high school and college, I just kept dating the wrong guys. Not just the wrong guys, but guys that were clearly wrong for me. I dated the captain of the football team. I was prom queen with him. He was a total ass and had the IQ of a hard-boiled egg. I dated him because my friends said he was hot and totally into me and we would make a cute couple. Some friends.
In college, I thought it was time for a fresh start. I would forget about the dating thing and focus on school, which I actually cared about quite deeply. I dumped the football loser, telling him he was a loser with such eloquent words that I finally had to dumb it down and just tell him I was going away to college and wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore. It was a good start. It didn't last very long.
Like a moth returning to the flame that's just burned it, I ended up dating another dumb jock the second semester of my freshman year. I had different friends this time, but they were still fully in favor of the two of us getting together. It seems these preppy girls I somehow found myself hanging out with always though looks and "chemistry" were all that mattered in a relationship. "You look so cute together!" one of them said every time she saw us. And for a while, I agreed. This guy was at least nicer than my high school beau. He bought me flowers and took me on long walks in the park. But every time he tried to say something even remotely intellectual, I wanted to shoot myself. I felt guilty after dumping him, because he was usually a pretty nice guy, but I just couldn't stand him acting all smart when he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. I called him out on it from time to time when he would say something clearly wrong, but he always just laughed it off like I was the one who was clearly wrong. Then finally, one day, I corrected him on something that had to do with nutrition. He was claiming some nonsense about how he needed to consume loads more sugar to keep up his energy. I tried to tell him he didn't want just go off and start guzzling sugary beverages, that there were different kinds of carbohydrates and that those different kinds made a difference for athletes. I think I finally struck a nerve with him because he just sneered at me and said, "What do you know? You're just a girl." It was amazing. He really thought I was the dumb one in the relationship. I told him, "I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." and walked away. At least he was smart enough to realize he was being dumped. I think he thought he was getting out of it easy or something because he never even called to try to make up.
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