So everyone thinks I'm all best friends with pretty girl Christina now. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. I honestly haven't decided yet. I used to be furious at the little tramp for beating me out at that beauty pageant, but now I just don't know. It seems kind-of petty at times. I mean, it was just a dumb college activity. One that I should have won, but probably I didn't win because I was too good for it. And even Christina could tell I should have won, or at least she says she thinks that. I'm inclined to believe her. I mean, it was pretty obvious that I had more experience than her. No one can deny that.
But anyway, I'm willing to let things go for the time being. I'm not sure how this new "friendship" is going to progress in the future, but it is kind-of nice to have another girl around to hang out with. Zach is great and all, but sometimes he's just too much of a dude.
Now, not that Christina is all that much of a girly-girl. For a girl so pretty, she sure doesn't know much about fashion or make-up. Part of me wants to strangle her when she asks if I really think the shade of blush I've picked out is best for her, but another part of me just wants to take her under my wing and say, "Oh sweetie, trust me, I know what I'm doing", which is what I end up doing. She's so young, so innocent. I just can't bring myself to be cruel to her, as long as she doesn't make a habit of beating me in beauty pageants. Fortunately, she doesn't seem all that interested in competing further, so that's good. Not that I'm afraid or anything. Now that I know her secrets, I'm sure I can beat her. In fact, she even gave me a new tactic to try. Apparently the sweet little girl who isn't so confident can go a long way in certain pageants. I wonder if that would help me win some of the few that I didn't manage to take home the crown in.
Another nice thing about Christina is getting to hang out with Bridget. Bridget is one tough cookie. I'm not going to lie, I was a little intimidated by her at the beauty pageant, the way she just stood there between Christina and me and stared me down. Now, Bridget was no threat in terms of actually winning the pageant, but that girl is scary. I would not want to cross her. Which, I'll admit, is another aspect to why I've decided to continue playing nice with Christina. Bridget's sure got balls, and I can respect that. Plus, she's a real pro at giving people the look. You know, the look that says, "whatever, I just don't care so shut up please." And the eye roll? She's got that down, too. If Christina can teach me how to play the sweet, little innocent naive girl card, then Bridget can help me tone my skills at being silently terrifying. Intimidate the other contestants, and win the judges over with sweetness. It's a perfect combination, and by combining the best aspects of both Chris and Bridget into my performance, I know I can perfect it.
I mean, all of life is really just a performance anyway. It's not just the pageants that matter. And how do I really feel about the people around me? Sometimes even I don't know.
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Okay, dude, so it's actually starting to scare me a little how buddy buddy Lizzy is getting with Christina and Bridget. I mean, that's the girl that beat her at the beauty pageant AND the girl I used to date. Yeah, yeah, I broke down and told Lizzy that Bridget and I dated for a while. I certainly didn't want that to blow up in my face. She just laughed and said, "Yeah, I don't care. Bridget's great. You really messed that up. And I've got you now anyway, so I guess I win."
That did make me feel a little better, that Lizzy views herself as winning over Bridget. It's always good when Lizzy feels like she's winning. That just leaves Christina. I sure hope it continues to be enough that Christina convinced Lizzy that she believes Lizzy should have won that contest. Christina's such a sweet girl. Maybe she was even being genuine when she said all that stuff. I don't really know, and I don't care. I just want Lizzy to keep believing it. If I can keep Lizzy happy, I'll be happy. Just give it a few more weeks, make sure everything's cool with this new female trio, and I'm pretty sure things with Lizzy and me will really take off. She's a great girl, and I really am happy to be with her again. She's just kind-of scary around other women sometimes. That's all.
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Okay, girl, I think this Lizzy chick might seriously be more of a crazy bitch than I am. And that's saying a lot! I don't really know what she thinks of me and Chris, but she seems to be hanging out with us all cool for the moment, so I'll just go with it. I mean, this chick has some serious fashion sense that I could never imagine Chris having in like a million years. I mean, Chris has got lots of other great qualities, but Lizzy, she knows what's what. And she's clever about things! I mean Chris is really smart, like really smart, but Lizzy is clever and witty. I really like this chick, even though she kind-of terrifies me at the same time. I think she and I can be great friends, as long as we keep Chris around to ground us and keep us sane. I mean, I would never give up Chris. Never. If I had to choose between Chris and Lizzy, I would still choose Chris in a heartbeat. Loyalty. Sisters gotta stick together. That's what my sorority experience last year taught me, and Chris is more my sister than any of those sisters, or Lizzy even, could ever hope to be. Just don't tell Lizzy I said any of this. If I can keep both Chris and Liz as friends, that would be even better.
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So I'm starting to understand a little bit why Zach and Brady were so worried about me and Lizzy being in the same room together. I mean, I saw the obvious source of fear at the beginning of that very first double date we went on, but now that that's settled down and Lizzy and I seem to be, well, I'd call us "frenemies", to steal the term, I can see that it's really difficult to ever tell what Lizzy's really thinking. Even going back to when she first met Zach... she told me that story, and claims Zach was the one she wanted the whole time, and yet she gave her phone number to Brady. A part of me is afraid she secretly has a thing for Brady, and that she still has that thing for Brady, and that I'm more than just a rival when it comes to beauty pageants in her mind. Of course, I can never ask her about it, and I certainly don't want to bring it up with Brady because that will just give him more to worry about when it comes to Lizzy and I being friends, but I still wonder sometimes... But she never seems to look at him that way, I mean, never, and believe me, I've watched for it since she told me the story about her and Zach meeting, so I'm probably just making up wild stories there. I did mention it to Bridget after I made her promise not to tell Lizzy, and she just poo-pooed me and rolled her eyes, so that made me feel better, too.
I think Lizzy is an okay person, she's just so hard to predict. I'm not sure I entirely enjoy being her friend all of the time, but if I can say this without sounding too full of myself, I think I might be good for her. Brady seems to think so, too.
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I'm usually not this much of an optimist, but I am making a conscious decision to believe that Christina just might be turning Lizzy around. At the very least, Lizzy is sure acting a lot nicer towards both me and Christina, and I think that's all I could ever ask for as far as Lizzy is involved. I have to admit, it is pretty nice going on double dates with Zach without having to worry about his girlfriend murdering mine. Like I said, I'm usually not this much of an optimist, so I'm not entirely convinced this tenuous peace will last, but I'm just going to enjoy it while I can. And even if it doesn't last, I won't let that get me down. As long as I've got Christina, and Christina is safe, Lizzy can do whatever she wants. She makes Zach happy, and that's great for him, but I don't feel a pressing need to hang out with her all the time, it's just nice to go on double dates sometimes, at long as she keeps behaving, you know.
And honestly, when Lizzy does behave, she's pretty decent to be around. She's able to talk about lots of stuff other than beauty pageants. I mean, I actually never noticed the obsession with beauty pageants before anyway, but that's also because she never chose to talk to me all that much before. But yeah, she likes to talk about art quite a lot it turns out. And Christina has a moderate interest in photography, in addition to being totally into literature, so that's something nice for them to talk about, and I genuinely enjoy hearing what they have to say. I've actually learned some interesting stuff about art from Lizzy, and I even fact checked it and turns out she's telling the truth about stuff.
And she does make Zach happy. I see the way he looks at her. For a while there, he seemed a little nervous with her and Christina being friends, but I think he's calmed down, and he seems able to enjoy our double dates, too, in addition to enjoying just being with Lizzy. Yeah, I know I keep saying I'm usually not this much of an optimist, but I really do think this might all work out, at least for a little while.
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