Magic

When I was a young girl, thousands of years ago, I used to believe in magic. I used to look at the world around me in awe and wonder, all the beautiful things, and think there must be some force behind them. I used to look at the stars and wonder what they could possibly be but magic dust. But science ruined all that for me. Everything has an explanation, and everything is known. Even the most common simple people of the day know that stars aren't magic. There is no magic anywhere.

I used to live next door to a boy who I thought was magical. He was beautiful and pure like no other child I had ever known. Somewhere in the back of my head, I thought he was going to be the one to save the world. He died when he was 17.

When I was young, I used to dream of a perfect world, where no one suffered or died. I've seen too many in agony and had to bury too many of my friends to believe that's even possible.

The life I've led has been an agony, not a blessing, not magical. I just want to end it, but I can't. There is no magic in that. If I had known this was all the "magic" there was, I never would have taken it. To live "happily ever after" is a lie. It's all just "ever after" for me. Ever after my prince was taken from me. Ever after the toad stayed a toad. Ever after the pumpkin was baked into a pie and the sword from the stone rusted away into nothingness. I've seen more of that "magic" than I ever wish to see. I would have never taken this deal if I had known this was the way it would be.

Some might say I've lived to see wonders some could never dream of. When I was a hundred or even two hundred years old, I might have felt that way, but not now. All the things that were wonders then are simple things now. Humanity progresses, but there is no wonder in it. It's just natural. What would be magical would be if we didn't keep learning new things, and yet still make the same old mistakes.

Some people think that there were dragons around when I was born. There were never dragons, and even if there had been, they would not have been magical. I can create a small lizard that breaths out fire myself. I have all the time in the world to figure it out. It does not impress me.

Music, dance, art, they are all meaningless. Magical to some, but not to me. I understand why you think of them as you do. I used to, too, once upon a time. Those days are long gone. Buried a hundred times, as I myself should have been. If anyone ever offers you magic, turn them away. Run as fast as you can. Dive off the nearest cliff if you have to. Magic is worthless. It's something everyone thinks they want, but can never truly have.

I've had my magic, and I'm done with it. I just want it all to be done. I don't even have any wisdom to impart. My years of study have been in vane. I've learned nothing that shouldn't already be obvious. Everything is known already. There is no magic.