One Day (Part 3)

Jane always tried to have a smile on her face, not a sappy, happy smile like those fakers, but a gentle, realistic smile.  She would be the first to admit that life wasn't perfect, especially for someone like her who had little luck with either love or a career, but things could always be worse.  At least she had friends, even if none of them was a boyfriend, and at least she had a job, even if working a checkout counter wasn't her idea of a compelling career.  She might not have a lot of outright joy in her life, but she had a subtle peace and an acceptance of who she was and where she was headed.  As much as she wanted someone extra special to share her life with her, a boyfriend might just distract her from her studies when she went back to school in the fall.  And this time she was going to major in something more practical, like business or finance.  She did have a decent head for numbers, even if they weren't her first passion, and she was much more likely to make a good living with a more sensible degree.  Still, she had no regrets about her first run through college.  It might not have been potentially lucrative in terms of money, but she had learned a lot about herself and what she can do and can't do and won't do.  One thing Jane will never do is give up.  It might seem like she's giving up, but she's just following a different path.  And who knows?  Maybe this different path will one day lead her back to where she wanted to go in the first place.  Life is sometimes circular like that.

Jane blinked herself back into the present to avoid getting lost in her thoughts and smiled at the next customer.  He was not the sort of man that most people would have an easy time smiling at.  He looked aged beyond his actual years with gray hair, a scraggly beard, and dirt on his face.  Some people Jane knew would cross the street just to avoid walking near a man like this.  When he saw her smiling at him, he seemed embarassed and looked down at his purchase.  Jane looked down to pick it up and felt strangely nervous herself.  What did a seemingly homeless man need with a cheap hunting knife?  Jane was afraid she could think of some possibilities, but she didn't want to think the worst of people.  Maybe he just wanted to murder some pigeons.  If that was the case, he'd be doing the city a real favor.

Jane scanned the knife and looked up with her characteristic soft smile.  He seemed like a kind man, a gentle soul.  She was sure her first instinct had been completely off base.  "Will that be all for you today?" she asked.

He nodded without looking up.

"38.95" she said.  He dug into his musty brown jacket and pulled out a plastic bag from which he extracted four five-dollar bills, 13 one-dollar bills, 22 quarters, and 5 dimes.

Jane felt like she couldn't quite smile as she took the money.  Somehow the way he had pulled it out, like it was all he had in the world, made her sad.  She counted it up, put it in the register, then took one nickle from the register and one five-dollar bill and said "Five oh five is your change".

He looked up at her in surprise as she held out the money.  "I was sure..." he started to say, his voice wavering a bit.

Jane found it easy now to smile again.  "Five oh five is your change," she said again.  "Would you like your receipt?"

The man nodded as he took the receipt and the money.  He looked up at her like he wanted to say something else but wasn't sure what to say, so Jane said something instead:  "Things are never as bad as they seem."  She wasn't sure if would mean anything, but it seemed like the right thing to say.  She wished she could take the time to say more, but the next person in line seemed to be getting suspicious.  The man must have felt it too, because he simply nodded, took the knife and his money, and stumbled away.  Jane watched him go out of the corner of her eye as she turned to the next customer with a smile.  Once she worked through the line that had built up, she bent down to get her purse and dug out the replacement for the $5 she had given the man and slipped it into the cash register.  She rather wished she had given him more, but $5 had seemed like enough at the time.  She just hoped that her second instinct about him was right and that he wasn't about to go off and do something stupid.