Over the next several weeks, Cornelius calls me up a number of times to help with his little "jobs" as he calls them. They seem to be mostly low key, low risk type endevous. I notice that sometimes he goes for a number of days without calling me and then will call me a couple nights in a row. I wonder what he does on those nights when I'm not around. Is he off doing things of greater significance? One time I make the mistake of asking him and he just responds by saying, "Everyone is significant." I'm sure he knows what I meant, that he may be out saving peoples lives rather than their hurt feelings, but I let it go. It can't be a coincidence that he only brings me into the more mundane endevours. He must somehow know ahead of time what kinds of things he's going to see before he even sees them. I start to wonder if maybe he doesn't trust me with more dangerous or risky situations, or perhaps he's just trying to keep me safe. Is his faith and trust in me shrinking as my own faith and trust in him grows?
I don't really think he distrusts me, but sometimes I wonder. All I ever see in Cornelius is good, other than a few times when he's gotten frustrated or discouraged, because I'd be lying if I didn't admit to seeing that happen. But overall, through the course of these weeks, I see a kind soul, someone who really does want to help. At the start, my thoughts on the whole question of Cornelius had been somewhat of a roller-coaster, riding up and down as I try to sort out how much of what he's told me is true and how much he really just wants to help people. But the more time I spend with him, the more I see he's in it way more for the others than for himself. Sure, he appreciates being thanked by someone who realizes he's helped them, even if they don't quite realize how. And he seems to brighten up a bit when I compliment him, too. But who wouldn't? Overall, I'd say Cornelius is a rather selfless person. When I tell him as much, he notes that one is pretty much forced to be seeing the things he sees and knowing that he can fix them. The more he sees, the more he feels like it's his duty to do something. After all, why else would he be given this gift? I still think he's a good guy, though, and I find myself interested in being his friend just for the sake of being his friend. I realize all we ever seem to do together now is help others, though. That's all fine and good, but Cornelius once told me he really just wanted a friend and I start to realize maybe that's all I want, too.
That's what prompts me to call him up one Friday night and suggest that we go out to a new bar without any intentions of righting wrongs and saving emotions, just go out and hang out as friends. He seems unsure about the whole not planning to help anyone bit, but I can almost feel his smile when I say the word "friends" and he responds by saying, "You know, I think I might actually like that quite a bit."
We meet at the bar I named, at the time I specified. Cornelius looks a little uncomfortable as he glances around the room. "There is pain here," he says when I come over. I'm still in the process of sitting down.
"That's a pleasant thought." I've paused at his comment, but not sit myself firmly in the booth.
"It's not great pain," he assures me, "but pain nonetheless."
"Places like this are full of pain," I say. I decide not to tell him this is where I went with Clara the night before we broke up. It was a stupid place to take someone I'd been dating as long as I'd been dating her. Perhaps it was a stupid place to choose now. I don't know why I chose it. Maybe I wanted to see if my pain was gone. "We don't have to stay," I say.
Cornelius smiles his small smile, a smile that says he's glad I said it, but a smile not overwhelmed with joy. I'm not sure I've yet seen Cornelius overwhelmed with joy, but he probably hasn't seen me as much either. "Do you like bowling?" he asks.
I shrug. "I suppose it's okay," I admit.
"Let's go bowling," he says. And before I can say anything more, he's already stood up and is walking towards the door. I follow closely behind, glancing around at the people in the room, wondering what Cornelius sees. Even an ordinary fellow like me can feel some of them crying inside. I don't know why I ever suggested coming here. This was supposed to be for Cornelius, not for me.
I follow the instructions he gives me to a bowling alley. We have to wait for about half an hour to get a lane and while we're waiting, two young women come in also wanting a lane. When they're told they'll have to wait even longer, they say maybe they should just go. They both seem a little drunk and one of them starts to get out her car keys, but before they turn around Cornelius looks at them and blurts out, "You can share our lane."
The one eyes him kind-of funny. But her friend looks at me and gives a shy little grin. I feel remarkably uncomfortable. "Okay, yeah, sure," she says. "I guess we can do that." She has a heavy Brooklyn accent.
"I'll even pay for your games as long as you don't have any more to drink," Cornelius adds.
I'm about to shush him when I see the sneer on the first girl's face, but then the friend that was looking at me says, "Yeah fine whatever. We've had plenty of that already." She lets out a strange little giggle and drags her friend over to the soda machine where they start pressing buttons without putting any money in.
"Why did you do that?" I whisper to Cornelius. "Won't they just ruin our night?"
"They would have ruined someone else's a lot worse if they had gone," he said with a frown.
"You mean..."
"Surely you noticed they were a bit intoxicated," he said, sounding slightly annoyed and leading me to feel a bit guilty.
"Yeah," I consent softly, "but couldn't you have like called them a cab or something."
He frowns. "I suppose I could have," he said. "This was just the first thing I thought to do and it seems to have worked." He smiles weakly as says, "We can still have a fun time. Don't let it get to you."
"Do you see us having a fun time?" I ask a bit too testily.
"It doesn't matter what I see," he says, not seeming so annoyed anymore, almost sounding like he pities me and wishes I could see what he sees. "We can make whatever we want of this night, and any night for that matter."
"You really believe that?" I ask, "After seeing so much of what happens to people in their future."
"I really believe that," he says, "after all the times I've been able to change what happens to people in the future."
I nod, still feeling a little guilty, but not quite sure how to apologize. "Yeah, I suppose you're right," is the best I manage.
He smiles and pats me on the back. Strangely it doesn't feel awkward to me at all. The guy at the desk tells us our lane is ready as a group of guys and one markedly sober woman walk towards the exit. Our new female companions let out a groan and a cheer respectively and meet us at the counter where we get shoes. Cornelius manages to find out that there names are Hannah and Tricia and they're definitely under 30, according to them. "If only you could see the past maybe you'd know how old they really are," I whisper.
He smiles with a suppressed chuckle and says, "What, you don't think they're under 30?"
"Oh, I'm actually pretty sure they are," I say looking at the girls. "I just think it's funny how women will never tell you their actual age."
"You maybe," he says, and then after a pause, "I usually can't even get them to tell me their fake ages."
"Well you're doing okay tonight, then," I say. "Maybe things will turn out okay after all."
Much to my own surprise, things actually do turn out remarkably okay. Tricia's over-excitement over bowling turns out to be not quite as annoying as it seemed at first like it might be, probably aided by the fact that she calms down as she gets more sober. And Hannah also seems to get more accepting of having anything to do with us as she gets more sober. She also gets worse at bowling though, strangely enough, something that I somehow feel comfortable with teasing her about. "I could always go drink more," she suggests and then looks at Cornelius and says with a bit of what I choose to perceive as a playful sneer, "But your friend here doesn't want me to."
"I just wanted you to be safe," Cornelius says. He looks over at Tricia and then back at Hannah and says, "As long as your friend doesn't have anymore and is willing to drive, I'm not going to stop you from having another drink or two."
"You couldn't stop me anyway," Hannah responds.
Cornelius shrugs. "Probably not," he confesses.
Hannah looks over at Tricia. "What do you say, Tricia," she says. "Cool if I grab a beer."
Tricia looks up from the ball she was about to throw down the ally and smiles. She actually has a decent smile when it's not busy overpowering her face. "Yeah, I don't mind," she says.
Hannah goes to get her beer; Tricia throws the ball and just barely misses a spare, but when she turns back she smiles. She seems to be more interested in Cornelius now that she's sobering up. "Listen Corny," she says. She and Hannah decided it would be cuter to call Cornelius Corny. I see no indication that he minds. "I understand what you did," she says, "and I'm grateful. Honestly, it's a miracle the two of us even managed to make it to the bowling alley safely. I appreciate you looking out for us, even though, no especially because you didn't even know us."
Cornelius nods. "That's quite alright," he said. "I just didn't want to see anyone get hurt."
She glances at me and blushes a little and then looks back at Cornelius. She steps towards him and says in a whisper. "Listen, I'd be happy to give you my number if you'd like to go out sometime."
He smiles and I think he's going to accept, I mean why not, right? But then he shakes his head and says, "I might be okay in a group, but I'm a lousy date."
"Aww come on," she says. "I could set your friend up with Hannah. He is kind-of cute and I think she might like him a little."
Now I'm feeling embarrassed and am glad to realize it's my turn so I can go grab my ball and bowl. I miss the rest of their exchange while I'm doing that, but when I come back and sit down, Tricia seems slightly dejected, but not too upset, and Hannah's back with her beer.
"What did I miss?" she asks.
"Nothing exciting," I say, perhaps a bit too quickly. "It's your turn."
Hannah doesn't seem to notice anything amiss, so she takes a drink of beer, and then gets up and bowls a strike, the excitement of which erases any awkwardness that might have been hanging in the air. The rest of the night is a lot of fun. The girls and Cornelius seem to enjoy themselves, too. At the end of the night, they even insist on paying themselves, even though Cornelius offered to and says he still will. This time he relents and lets them pay their own way, and me as well.
After they've gone, sober Tricia with the keys, I turn to Cornelius. "Why didn't you accept her number?" I ask.
"I wasn't even sure how much of that you heard," he says.
I laugh. "Is that an answer to my question."
"Were you interested in either of them?" he asks.
"I don't think that's an answer either," I say, "but not particularly."
"I wasn't particularly either," he says. "Tricia might be fun to hang out with for a while, but I don't see us going anywhere. Besides I feel guilty using my gift for personal gain like that."
"You mean like to make friends?" I ask. "Isn't that what you ended up doing with me?"
"That's not quite what I mean," he says, "because I did kind-of do that with you, but not on purpose. I mean, I've met people through my gift that I wouldn't have met otherwise. Even interacting with some of them outside from the help I offer. I don't know, with women, well, romance with women, it's just different somehow. Using my gift to get them interested in that way seems wrong, and that's what happened tonight. I mean I still didn't intend it, but she wouldn't have looked at me twice if I hadn't helped her out."
"But isn't that what dating is all about?" I ask. "You do nice things for the other person to get or keep them interested."
"I suppose that's true," he admits, "to some extent, but Tricia wasn't right for me anyway. I saw that, and even apart from that I felt it."
"Well, what happens when you see or feel that it is right, with someone you've only met because you used your gift to help them?"
He shrugs. "I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it," he says. And then, "Thanks for suggesting we hang out tonight; It's been really fun."
I smile and pat him on the back, hoping it's not awkward. "Any time," I say. "I'm sorry about the first initial bad choice, and for complaining about the girls at first. I shouldn't have doubted you."
He smiles back and shrugs. "It's perfectly fine to doubt me," he says. "In fact, I appreciate it, you keeping me in line from time to time." I wonder if I've ever really kept Cornelius in line on anything, but before I can ponder it much he says, "Well, I'm beat. Time to go home and go to bed. Good night."
I nod. "Good night," I say. As Cornelius heads out, I look back at the bowling alley, the lanes getting dark and the people leaving and smile to myself. It was a good night, surprisingly it might be the best I've had in a long time. I smile as I walk out myself. In spite of my best of initial intentions, Cornelius really has become a friend to me, and it seems I to him. I wonder if he saw that coming. He probably did, after all, he told me from the start it was what he wanted.
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