Believe

I hear it all the time, people telling me I don't exist. I'm sick of it. I'm real; I know it. I have thoughts and emotions just like all of them. How do you think it feels that every time I show up, they freak out and tell me I'm not real, that I'm all in their head. They pace back and forth, muttering to themselves and trying to ignore me. They act like I'm not even there because they don't want me to be.

I'm just doing my job; I'm just trying to help them. They're in denial, all of them. They'd rather pretend I don't exist than to hear what I have to say, to seriously consider that they could be wrong about things or that their life needs a change. I know it's hard, I understand that. Well, maybe I don't understand as well as they do, but at least I try. They don't even put in an effort.

I know this sounds a lot like complaining. That's not what I mean to do. There are a few, a select few, who really truly believe. Those are the best. I love it when I get to go talk to them. It fills me with such joy to see their faces develop from shock to uncertainty, but then finally to the realization that yes this is real, it is really happening, and there is really a purpose to it all. They knew it already and it gives me such joy to confirm it for them. Those are the easy ones.

But the others, they drive me crazy. They think me showing up is a sign that they are insane, but it isn't. Every once in a while, one is so insistent that I almost start to doubt myself. Almost. But I know I'm real. I'm as real as they are. They just refuse to see it.

The most frustrating thing of all is that I really am there to help. Sometimes I'll say things they like and sometimes I won't, but either way they don't even want to give me the chance. They don't even know if it's bad news or not, they just shut me out right away, because they don't believe. But I believe, of course I believe, it's tied up in my whole purpose.

So if you see me one day, please don't be afraid. There is nothing to fear. Someone is watching out for you. That should comfort you, not terrify you. And if I have some rebuke for you, be thankful for that, too. It might be hard, but it will only make things better. And please, don't pretend I don't exist. That is the absolute worst reaction, and the one I get all too often. Don't try to convince yourself that what you're seeing isn't real, that you're crazy. I assure you, I am real. I'm as real as your own self. More real even.

I have my missions, and I'm only doing my job, a job I would love so much more, if you would just believe.